Indiana Rancis and the raiders of the lost ark
by Agent BM
Summary: A re telling of raiders of the lost ark with characters from Wreck it Ralph. I don't own anything in here
1. Meet Indiana Rancis

**Indiana Rancis and the raiders of the lost ark**

**i dont own WIR or indiana jones**

**before I begin here's who will play who in the story**

**Rancis: indiana jones**

**Vanellope: Marion Ravenwood**

**Turbo: Rene belloq**

**Heinz doofenshmirts from phineas and ferb: Arnold Toht (The guy with the scar from the film and looked like a gangster**

**Felix: Sallah**

**now that that's handled lets begin our story**

**(South america, 1936)**

Rancis Jones, or as he preferred on his adventures, Indiana Rancis, was in South America looking for a golden idol, the idol of the hovitos tribe. He and his friend satipo went into a temple while his guide waited outside. Satipo noticed something on Rancis's back

"Dr Jones, spiders" said Satipo scared

Rancis brushed the spiders off his back with his whip and did the same to satipo, who had lots more spiders on him. The 2 went towards a small patch of sunlight

"Stop, don't step in the light" said Rancis

"Why not?" Asked Satipo

Rancis put his hand in the light and moved it away when he saw spikes come out of the wall with a dead body attatched

"Forrestal, so that's what happened to him" said Rancis

the 2 used rancis's whip to make it across a deep pit and came across a hallway, on te other end was the idol

"There's nothing protecting the idol it's ours" said Satipo but Rancis stopped him

"Somethings not right" said Rancis

Rancis grabbed a stick and placed it on a dark caked tile. The tile sank and out of the wall shot a poisonous dart

"Stay here" said Rancis

"If you insist señor" said Satipo

Rancis slowly walked through the hallway avoiding the dark tiles. He made it to the stool the idol sat on and took a bag of dirt from his bag. He snatched the idol and replaced it with the bag very quickly. Rancis held the idol in the light to see when the stool began sinking. The temple was collapsing. Rancis ran through the hallway with darts shooting at him but missed. Satipo made it across the pit and had Rancis's whip

"Throw me the whip" said Rancis

"Throw me the idol" said Satipo

the door was closing

"No time to argue, throw me the idol and I throw you the whip" said Satipo

Rancis threw the idol to Satipo

"Now give me the whip" said Rancis

Satipo dropped the whip

"Adios señor" said Satipo before rushing out

Rancis jumped across the pit and barely made it. He rushed out and grabbed his whip before the door closed. Rancis saw Satipo's dead body on the wall with spikes through him. Rancis grabbed the idol

"Adios Satipo" said Rancis

Rancis turned around and saw a boulder rolling towards him. Rancis ran as fast as he could and jumped out of the temple where he saw the hovitos tribe in front of him and the dead body of his guide. In the middle of the tribe was Rancis's worst enemy, Turbo. He always made him do the work and then stole his treasure

"Turbo" said Rancis

"You chose the wrong friends, this time it will cost you" said Turbo as he took Rancis's revolver and the idol

"You know turbo, the hovitos don't know you like I do" said Rancis

"Yes, you could warn them, if only you spoke hovitos" said Turbo

Turbo held the idol up and the natives kneeled down. Rancis ran off. Turbo ordered the natives to kill him. Ranics could see his ride out of here in the distance.

"JOCK, START THE ENGINES" shouted Rancis to his pilot who was fishing

Rancis swung from a vine and swam towards his plane with the natives shooting arrows and poison darts at him. Rancis got onto the plane and flew off when he noticed something he was afraid of in his seat, a snake

"JOCK, THERE'S A SNAKE ON THE PLANE" shouted Rancis

"Oh that's just my pet snake Reggie" said Jock

"I HATE SNAKES JOCK, I HATE THEM" shouted rancis

"Show a little backbone will ya" said Jock

'never hire jock again" Thought rancis


	2. Bar fight in Nepal

**Ch. 2**

Soon after his excursion in South America, Rancis went back to his normal job, an archaeology college professor in Connecticut, but he didn't stay long. His friend Marcus told him that some men in suits wanted to see him. They told him about a treasure called the ark of the covenant and that the nazi army was trying to find it to make their army invincible. Rancis's friend Abner Ravenwood had something that would find the location of the ark, and he needed to get to him first. Rancis packed his bags and set off to Nepal to meet Abner again, not knowing he was being followed by a Nazi agent named Heinz Doofenshmirts

(Nepal)

Rancis entered a bar to see Abner's daughter, Vanellope, was closing up for the night

"Indiana Rancis, should've known you'd come back walking through my doors, what're you doing here?" Asked Vanellope

"Im here to see your father, wheres Abner?" Asked Rancis

"Abner's dead" said Vanellope

"Oh, I'm so sorry" said Rancis

"Don't be, he was crazy, dragged me everywhere thrust to her worthless trinkets, you inspired him to do that. But now I've settled here, everything you see is mine, so get out" said Vanellope

"Look I need a piece your father collected, bronze, round, jewel in the middle, I'll pay $3000 for it" said Rancis

"Don't have it, I'll have to look around for it, come back tomorrow and it's yours" said Vanellope

"Thanks, goodnight" said Rancis

"See you tomorrow indiana Rancis" said Vanellope

The minute Rancis left, Vanellope took a small bronze medallion from a box, the treasure Rancis was looking for, it was called the headpiece of the staff of Ra

"He better offer double if he wants this" said Vanellope before placing the medallion on a table

Just then Doofenshmirts walked in with a few henchman

"Good evening floorline" said doof

"Bar's closed" said Vanellope

"We are not thirsty, we're here for the same thing dr jones wanted, surely he told you there would be other people who wanted it" said Doof

"Must've slipped his mind" said Vanellope

"For your sake I hope you didn't give it to him" said Doof

"Are you willing to offer more?" Asked Vanellope

"Yes, but do you still have it?" Asked Doof

"No, but I know where it is. Hey how about a drink for you and your men" said Vanellope

"Your fire is dying here, how about you just tell me where the piece is" said Doof as he signaled his men to grab her

"Hey, what're you doing?" Asked Vanellope

Doof grabbed a burning hot rod from the fire and moved it towards Vanellopes face

"You're going to tell me where the head piece is or ill leave an awful mark on you" said Doof

suddenly a whip grabbed the rod and sent it towards a curtain, Rancis was back

"Let her go" said Rancis as the bar started to catch on fire from the rod

doof ordered his men to kill rancis. A gunfight began with Rancis winning. Doof saw the headpiece and grabbed it, but it was so hot it burned his hand. Doof screamed and ran outside to cool his hand off in the snow

All but one gunman was dead, he aimed his gun at Rancis and a gunshot was heard, but Rancis didn't feel hurt. The gunman fell to reveal Vanellope just shot him. Vanellope grabbed the headpiece with a rag and the 2 ran out of the bar before it burst into flames completely

"Well Jones you certainly know how to show a girl a good time, and until I get my money you're gonna get more than you bargained for, I'm your god damn partner" said Vanellope showing Rancis the headpiece


	3. Cairo fight

Ch. 3

After escaping Nepal, Rancis and Vanellope went to meet Rancis's friend Felix, his wife Tammy and all their kids, about 8-9 of them. Felix was the best digger in all of Egypt. The nazis led by Turbo were looking for the well of souls which was the resting place of the ark. Felix promised more information to Rancis when he could get it. Rancis and Vanellope decided to visit the local marketplace, along with a monkey that Felix bought to play with his kids.

"Do we really need the monkey?" Asked Rancis

"Come on it's our baby" said Vanellope jokingly

The monkey jumped off her shoulder and ran away

"Hey, where're you going?" Asked Vanellope

"Relax it'll be back, here have a date" said Rancis handing her a small fruit

"What? What is this?" Asked Vanellope

"It's a date, you eat it" said Rancis

the monkey ran to a man wearing an eyepatch, her real owner, a man known as monkey man. The man went to 2 nazis in black suits and gave them Indy's location. They sent a group of street thugs after them.

"So how come you haven't settled down met a nice woman and had 8-9 kids like your friend Felix?" Asked Vanellope "He says you're a bum"

"He always makes jokes" said Rancis

he saw the thugs rushing towards them

"Vanellope duck"

Rancis punched a thug and grabbed Vanellope

"Van get out of here" said Rancis before dodging a sword

he placed Van in a horse drawn cart and took his whip out. He snapped it at the thugs removing their swords. The horse pulling Vans cart ran off with the kart.

"Rancis" shouted Vanellope

she jumped off and hid in a basket as more thugs and nazis ran past. The monkey jumped on the basket and screeched loudly for the nazis to hear

"quiet" begged Vanellope

the thugs grabbed the basket and ran off

Rancis went up to the cart which was empty

"Vanellope" shouted Rancis

everyone ran off to the sides when they saw someone coming, a swordsman wearing black clothing. He did a few tricks with his sword apparently wanting a fight. Rancis just shot him as the crowd cheered and stole his sword. Rancis heard Vanellopes screaming and followed 2 guards to a truck. A guard shot a machine gun to keep him from coming closer as the nazis loaded a basket into the truck that was filled with dynamite

"GO, SCHNELL SCHNELL" shouted a nazi

Rancis shot a thug on the side of the truck and then shot the driver. The truck turned over. Rancis ran for the truck but it exploded into a big fireball

"Oh no, Vanellope" said Rancis sadly


	4. Rancis and Turbo chat

Rancis was at a bar drinking away his sorrows after Vanellope's death. 2 nazis came up to him

"Dr. Rancis, our boss wants to see you" said one of the men as they picked him up and took him to a table inside where turbo was sitting wearing a White suit

"Hello Indiana Rancis" said Turbo

"Turbo, I ought to kill you" said Rancis

"Bad place for a murder don't you think?" Asked Turbo

"These people don't care about us Turbo" said Rancis

"I just thought I'd let you know that I'm coming close to finding the ark, I didn't need that headpiece after all, I got one of my own" said Turbo

"Where'd you get a copy?" Asked Rancis

"Thats classified" said Turbo "But once I find the ark and deliver it to the fuhrer in Berlin I get paid and prove that I'm better than you"

"Well if I find it I'm going to put it in a museum" said Rancis

"Dr. Jones don't you realize what the ark is? It's a transmitter, it's a radio for talking to god and its in my reach" said Turbo

"You wanna talk to god? Lets go see him together, I've got nothing better to do" said Rancis as he stood up and took his gun out

everyone in the bar took a gun out and aimed at Rancis but didn't fire when they saw Felix's kids rush in telling him that he was needed at home

"Next time it'll take more than children to save you Rancis Jones" said Turbo

Everyone in the bar laughed at Rancis as Felix's kids dragged him out


	5. Digging in the wrong place

(Felix's house, later that night)

Felix was giving Rancis all the information he needed that he could get, that the nazis ordered them to dig in a whole new place after using a headpiece to discover the ark's resting place, the well of souls. Meanwhile monkey man slipped into the kitchen an poisoned a bowl of dates before Felix's young son could bring it to them. The monkey who wa starving took one and started eating

"I don't understand, how could Turbo get a copy of the headpiece? There's no replicas or pictures of it anywhere" said Rancis

"Wait, you said that he only had one side right Felix?" Asked an old man studying the piece

"Yes why?" Asked Felix

"Lookie here, it says to make the staff at least 5 kaddams high"

"Yeah that's 72 inches" said Rancis

"But, the back says to remove 1 kaddam to honor the Hebrew god whose ark this is" said the old man

"That's it, Turbos staff is too long" said Rancis

"Theyre digging in the wrong place" said both Rancis and Felix happily

"The ark is still ours for the taking" said Felix happily

Rancis grabbed a date but it was slapped out of his hands by Felix

"Why'd you do that?" Asked Rancis angrily

Felix showed him the dead monkey lying on the floor with a half eaten date

"Bad dates" said Felix

"Well that was a close one" said Rancis


	6. Nazi dig site

After making a new staff, Felix took Rancis to the recently discovered map room where the nazis supposedly discovered the Ark's resting place. After Felix dropped a rope down inside Rancis climbed in disguised as one of Felix's diggers and placed the staff in one of the holes just as the sun reached the room. The light reflecting off te headpieces crystal moved towards the small city model and stopped at a building in the middle. The building glowed red and flashed, that was where the well of souls was located. After climbing out the 2 passed by a group of soldiers eating breakfast. They grabbed Rancis and yelled at him saying they wanted water

"What is wrong? If its water you want then i will get it for you" said Felix as e calmed the soldiers down and Rancis got away

He stumbled into a tent and was shocked when he as saw Vanellope asleep but tied up and gagged. He grabbed her and kept her from screaming

"Vanellope, I thought you were dead, they must've switched baskets" said Rancis

"Rancis, you gotta get me out of here" said Vanellope

"I know where the ark is Van, it's here" said Rancis

"It's here? Then I'm coming with you get me out of here" said Vanellope

"I can't, if I do theyll have the whole camp looking for you, it's best you stay here for right now" said Rancis as he gagged her back up. Vanellope tried to yell at him but she couldn't because of the cloth gagging her

Rancis took a small telescope from the tent and went up a hill. He set the telescope up and moved it towards the well of souls real location, not far from where the diggers were digging. There were no guards around it so this was the perfect time to dig. He ran down to Felix who finished giving the soldiers water

"Felix, get some diggers and meet me up on that hill" said Rancis pointing to the hill not far from the current dig site "The ark's there"

"Im on it" said Felix

Rancis went up the hill and took his disguise off. He placed his fedora on his head as Felix came back with a few diggers


	7. The well of souls

**Before I begin I just want to say happy 19th birthday to my friend smokescreen2814, you're a great friend smokey, I hope you enjoy this**

After about a day of digging the diggers managed to hit the roof to the well of souls

"Come on men, lift it up" said Felix

When the diggers got the top off the first thing they saw was a statue of the Egyptian god Anubis which scared Felix

"Calm down buddy, it's just a statue" said Rancis

"Indy, why does the floor move?" Asked Felix

Rancis threw a torch into the well and all over the floor there was venomous snakes

"Snakes, why did it have to be snakes?" Asked Rancis

"This'll be very dangerous, you go first" said Felix

Rancis looked at Felix angrily

Rancis dropped a rope and a few torches down. After climbing in and scaring away the snakes Felix came down with him. In the middle of the tomb was the ark of the covenant. The 2 spent an hour getting it into a crate. The 2 sent it up first, not knowing the nazis and turbo were above ground waiting

"Indy the torches are running out" said Felix scared

"You go up first" said Rancis

Felix climbed the rope up but before Rancis could climb out the rope fell to the ground

"Felix" shouted Rancis

"Hello, dr Rancis jones my what are you doing in such an awful place?" Asked turbo sarcastically

"Why don't you come down and find out" said Rancis angrily

"Thanks but I think we're very comfortable up here" said Turbo "You failed again dr Jones. What was briefly yours is now mine. We're gonna bury you down there, and maybe in a thousand years you'll be worth something"

"But don't worry Dr jones, we didn't want to leave you in such an awful place all alone" said a nazi colonel

Doofensmirts brought Vanellope towards the entrance and threw her in. Rancis caught her and the Germans shut the entrance up

"DIETRITCH YOU IDIOT, THE GIRL WAS MINE!"shouted Turbo angrily

"you know she's of no use to us, the only thing that matters is our mission for the fuhrer" said Dietritch the German colonel

"Oh god, I hope they're alright" said Felix

(Well of souls)

"Great to see you" said Rancis

"I was trying to escape no thanks to you" said Vanellope angrily

"We need to get out of here. Here wave this at anything that slithers" said Rancis handing Vanellope a torch

"The whole floors slithering" said Vanellope

Rancis saw more snakes coming out of the wall and figured they could get out that way. He grabbed the rope and threw it over the Anubis statue

"Im gonna go through that wall, whatever happens to me just be prepared to run" said Rancis as he started climbing the statue. He made it to the top and attempted to knock it over

"Rancis the flame's going out" shouted Vanellope scared

Rancis knocked the statue over and it destroyed the wall Just as the flame went out. Vanellope screamed when she saw dead bodies but Rancis calmed her

"Its alright I got you' said Rancis

The 2 saw an opening and made it back outside where over by a nearby airfield, the Germans were preparing a plane, an experimental flying wing plane that would take the ark to Berlin

"That's how they're doing it, they're gonna fly it out. By the time the ark reaches the plane we'll already be onboard" said Rancis

(Turbos tent)

"Let us toast out success" said Dietrich

"To the ark" said turbo

"Soon we'll be out of this sand ball" said Dietrich


	8. Flying wing fight

Rancis ran to the back of the plane while Vanellope tried to take the blocks of wood out that were holding down the tires. before Rancis could get on top of the plane a mechanic with a wrench saw him. The 2 started fighting and it ended with Rancis knocking out the mechanic. Another mechanic, a big tough one spotted him and went up to him

"Hey you, come here" said the mechanic

He got the attention to both Rancis and the pilot in the cockpit

"You wanna fight, get over here" said the mechanic

Rancis got off the plane and prepared to fight, but quickly realized the freeman was stronger than him

"Put em up" said the mechanic

Rancis kicked him in the balls which didn't hurt him and punched him. The mechanic gave Rancis a punch which knocked him to the ground. The pilot grabbed a pistol from the cockpit

"Get up" shouted the mechanic as he grabbed Rancis but bit his arm. The mechanic screamed in pain and let Rancis go

he ran to the front of the plane but was almost shot by the pilot. The mechanic got in his way preventing the pilot from shooting Rancis. Rancis threw sand at the mechanic which temporarily blinded him.

Before the pilot could shoot him Vanellope knocked him out with the blocks of wood. The pilot landed on the controls which started the plane. Vanellope fell in as the cockpit closed and she was trapped.

"Rancis" shouted Vanellope, but he was too busy trying to fight the mechanic

Vanellope climbed to the tail gun when she saw a car of German troops drive up. She fired the gun killing all but a few. She shot the last of them and accidentally shot a few barrels of oil which exploded. Turbo and Dietrich saw the explosion

"Stay with the ark, stay with the ark" shouted Turbo

The plane hit a fuel truck which caused it to start leaking fuel. Rancis jumped onto the plane trying to avoid the propellors.

"Rancis get me out of here" shouted Vanellope from the cockpit

"Hang on I'm coming" said Rancis

The mechanic grabbed Rancis and threw him off the plane. The fuel went under the plane which woke up the knocked out mechanic. Once he realized there was fuel coming under the plane he ran off.

Rancis threw 3 big punches at the mechanic but the mechanic threw one big punch at him which knocked him towards the ground

"Come on, get up you filthy pig" shouted the mechanic as the propellors got closer

Rancis ducked which confused the mechanic, he looked back and screamed as the propellors chopped him up and his blood stained the tail gun window and one of the tail wings

fire from the explosion started moving towards the fuel truck and plane, which meant Rancis had to hurry

"Vanellope move back" shouted Rancis as he shot the hinges by the cockpit and the 2 jumped off.

They ran as fast as they could as the fuel truck exploded and then the plane

Turbo, Dietrich and some soldiers rushed to the destroyed plane

"This is a disaster" shouted turbo

"We'll load the ark on the truck and fly it out from a plane in Cairo, and I want plenty of protection" said Dietrich before a watch tower exploded

"Jones" said Turbo angrily

Felix ran to the plane when he noticed Rancis and Vanellope in a tent hiding

"Oh thank god I'm so glad you're not dead. Rancis we have no time, if you still want the ark it is been loaded onto a truck for Cairo" said Felix

"Truck? What truck?" Asked Rancis

A truck drove by the camp with a troop car, motorcycle with sidecar and a car for turbo, Doof and Dietrich. The ark was loaded before the convoy drove off

"Get back to Cairo, get us some transport to England. Boat, plane, anything, I'm going after that truck" said Rancis

"How?" Asked Felix

"I don't know I'm making this up as I go" said Rancis

Rancis found a horse and rode it through the camp. All the diggers cheered as Rancis rode off towards the desert


	9. Desert truck chase

Rancis rode into the desert after the convoy. He saw them from a hill and rode his horse after them. He rode next to the truck with the troop car firing at him but missing. Rancis jumped off his horse and threw the 2 soldiers in the front out. The sarge in the back of the truck was mad. Rancis sped the truck up towards turbos car but was sidetracked by the troop car

Rancis knocked the troop car off the road and through the trees. the motorcycle started speeding up to the truck

"You gotta be kidding me" said Rancis as he bumped into the motorcycle and it tumbled into a small pond

the driver and sidecar passenger shouted at Rancis as the troop car got back on the road and the gunner aimed at Rancis. Rancis turned the truck hard and hit the troop car. Everyone in the car screamed as the car went over a big cliff and they went to their deaths

The sargaent in the back of the truck was really mad and ordered his men to get to the front and kill Indy. They climbed up through the sides of the truck and took out their weapons. Rancis drove the truck by the trees and knocked the soldiers off the truck. One soldier was able to hold on and climbed towards the front. He shot Rancis in the arm but Rancis knocked him and the door off.

The sarge saw him fall off and was really pissed off. He climbed up to the top of the truck and started making his way to the front. He knocked Rancis to the passenger seat. The sarge punched his bullet wound very hard. Rancis was in deep pain and it wasn't ending. The sarge threw Rancis through the windshield. Rancis held onto the hood ornament but it fell off. Rancis held onto the truck's grill for dear life

"BRING THE TRUCK CLOSER" shouted Turbo

"Crush him against our car" shouted Doof

The sarge obeyed and the truck moved faster towards turbos car. Rancis went under the truck and wrapped his whip around the back axle. He slid across the gravel road and climbed back onto the truck. He made it back to the front and sent the sarge to the passenger seat

Rancis punched the sarge a few times and threw him through the broken window. He held onto the grill but it came off and he was ran over by the trucks tires

"Now that that's handled, I can finish this" said Rancis as he sped the truck up

"go faster he's catching up" said Doof

"We're going as fast as we can" said Dietrich

Rancis knocked Turbos car off the road and sped off towards Cairo

"Idiot, IDIOT" shouted Turbo angrily

Rancis made it back to Cairo and drove the truck into a garage where Felix's friends from the army hid it

Turbos car drove up and drove away when the truck was nowhere to be seen


End file.
